Last week I collected a fair bit of baggage over an event that I had been looking forward to attending for the past seven or eight months. At the time I first learned of the event, someone volunteered to perform a service for me that would enable me to go. When the time came, this person did not live up to their word. As a result I missed the event. It wasn’t crucial event, it didn’t involve family and nobody died. Still, it was important to me.
Nevermind that the slight touch of gout I contracted at the time would have meant hobbling to where I was going on a crutch, it was important enough to me that I would have done so. My focus was on how I was emotionally injured and betrayed by someone who probably didn’t even understand how important this was to me. That the gout may have been an indication that I wasn’t meant to go was pushed aside
For about a week I harbored negative emotions over this incident. I felt let down, resentful, even a little depressed and angry. Everything I did, said, experienced, etc. seemed to be put through that filter. I continually caught myself doing this and pulled myself out of it, but it was a constant internal struggle.
By the end of the week I was feeling drained and the negative emotions hadn’t subsided. Although I really didn’t feel like doing it, I knew that there was only one way in which I was going to resolve this issue for myself – I had to forgive the person who let me down.
As is often the case, help arrived when I became open to it. The help took the form of a Deep Emotional Detox exercise (see link), which is really an exercise in forgiveness.
Forgiving someone can be beneficial to them, if they are open to it, or if they feel they need or want it. It’s really up to that person. However, forgiveness can have a dramatic impact on your own emotional wellbeing. You give yourself permission to release the pain, resentment or anger you might feel towards someone or something, and that will certainly lighten your emotional load. You will feel better for it, and the people around you will be better off for not having to deal with your emotional baggage.
Forgiveness is a choice you make. If you wait to feel forgiving, you may be waiting a long time, maybe indefinitely. If you chose it regardless of whether you feel like it, you might find it a quite powerful experience, and realize that you do have some control in what and how you feel. It’s not about forgetting what caused you to feel injured; it’s about cutting the negative bond to a person or event and releasing the emotions that are attached to it.
I hope you find some value in the emotional detox exercise.
- 10 Reasons to Forgive the Person You Hate the Most (seveneightxo.wordpress.com)
- To forgive. (ronellehartblogspot.wordpress.com)
- Radical Forgiveness (mosblissfulbouquets.com)
- Forgiveness – Releasing the past (maggiecurrie.com)