The Power of Self Forgiveness

Is anyone more critical of us than ourselves? As we pass through life we can amass a collection of unattained goals, missed opportunities, judgement errors regrettable actions we took or didn’t take, and other failings.

When we hold on to these failings we can let them define who we are: “I’m not able to do this, I don’t know enough, I’m not skilled enough, I’m not sensitive enough, I’m not good enough, blah, blah, blah.” We might even set up an internal obstacle course where we need to manage our survival by avoiding the things that remind us of our failings.

The more debris we collect from these transgressions against ourselves, the more we block the flow of life, and distance ourselves from the joy of living. And the longer we leave that debris, the more we forget that we are the ones who left it there. The debris becomes the “facts of life”, instead of something over which we have control.

I know what I’m talking about: I’ve been bullied, I’ve been bested, I’ve failed to achieve things in life I was sure I would, things I just had to do. I’ve measured myself against others with negative results. I’ve been depressed and I’ve despaired. And I took it all quite personally, collecting each failing in a spiritual scrap-book to flog myself with. Because that’s what you do with these things – you collected them, then look at them over and over to feel good and miserable.

That is how I stood in the way of my own greatness, of being the person I can be, the person I was born to be. But I’ve realized I can clear the obstacles I’ve put in my own way through self forgiveness.

Self forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have to free ourselves of the debris of our personal failings that prevents our lives from flowing freely. It might not always be easy or comfortable. We have to be open to looking closely at specific instances that have caused us pain and believe we can let them go. Only we have the power to find the peace that self forgiveness can give us.

Self forgiveness involves:

  • Specifically identifying the issue (situation / event / transgression) that needs to be released.
  • Being grateful for the learning experience that was provided to you by the issue.
  • Releasing the issue and any residual debris.
  • Filling any void created releasing the issue with love and light.

I’m giving you the template because I believe it can mean more if you fill in the details yourself and provide your own actions and wording.

In a perfect world we might be able to forgive ourselves everything in one session, but it’s likely these steps need to be repeated for each piece of debris to be cleared, and maybe multiple times for specific issues rooted deep within us.

If any of this rings a bell for you, give yourself a break, forgive yourself.

Just for today I will be kind to all living things, including myself.

See a list of Reiki precepts.

Published by David Cady

Reiki Master, Rahanni practitioner, musician, writer, free thinker, family man, not necessarily in that order.

5 thoughts on “The Power of Self Forgiveness

  1. This ticks a few boxes for me. Boy, am I SUPER critical of myself at the moment for some reason… And it’s got to stop as it’s (Ms Critical) not helping me one bit, just making me even more exhausted!

    I need to dip back into Louise L Hay’s ‘You can heal your life’ and get some balance back! I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

    Aaaaaaand breathe.
    Ta David.

    Sue at

    1. You’re welcome Sue. Isn’t it amazing the way we can flog ourselves. I imagine many people can relate to this, and perhaps forget that they are not alone.

      Here’s to the resoration of balance!

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